Pokey

• Chloë (2): *running, crying into the room* Mommy! I pokey my eye!

Happy Birdy, Indeed.

Fresh on the heels of the Early Christmas Quote...

• Chloë (2): Happy Birdy, Jesus!

Respect

One of the neighbor kids was trying to get my attention...

• Neighbor Kid: Hey. Hey. Aiden's Dad.
• Aiden (7): His name is Mr. Leary!

That's my boy!

Early Christmas Quote

Aiden got a new bike for Christmas.

• Aiden (7): Tight! I wanted a kick-stand!

The Dog Ate My Presents

Every year it happens. Without fail.

• Someone gives us a Christmas gift with food in it.
• We don't know there's food in it, because it's gift-wrapped, food vacuum-sealed, and we don't have a hound's drug-sniffing olfactory capabilities.
• We place it under the tree, then we wake up some morning soon thereafter to a fat beagle and a hastily opened gift.

Merry Christmas, Frisky.

Poor Elmo

Oh the things big brothers can teach you...

• Chloë (2): *holds hand like a pistol* Bang, Bang! Elmo's crying!

Who's The Boss?

• Aiden (7): I thought dads were supposed to be "The Boss"...
• Robert: They are.
• Aiden: ...
• Robert: Yes, I am the Dad therefore, I'm the Boss.
• Aiden: ...
• Robert: Did you hear me?
• Aiden: Mom says she's the boss.

Help Me!

• Robert: Ok, Chloë. Go upstairs and Mommy will help you brush your teeth.
• Chloë (2): HELP ME, MAMA! HELP ME!

Embarrassing Nudity

Warning, this post will utilize a word that is usually not used in good conversation...but it's life with kids, so ease up and spare me your emails of indignation!

While getting ready for the bath:

• Aiden (7): Boys are the only ones who should be embarrassed when they are naked.
• Sarah: Why is that?
• Aiden: Because we have penises and girls don't.

Honestly, it's the truest thing I've heard in a while. God has blessed me with the straight-talk of kids!

Beverage Recommendation

• Aiden (7): Dad, you should try a Peanut Colada.

I'm A Sorry Daddy?

While pushing Chloë in a cart in the store I bumped into a shelf...

• Chloë (2): Uh-Oh!
• Robert: Whoops, I bumped it!
• Chloë: You're a sorry Daddy.

The Short Bus

Aiden's buddy, Andrew, has never ridden a school bus...

• Andrew (7): *looking at a short school bus* I want to ride that bus home!
• Sarah: That bus is for handicapped kids. Do you know what handicapped means?
• Aiden (7): Yeah. It's like...daycare kids.