Strong Plants

• Robert: Aiden, what happened to your face?
• Aiden: I was playing outside and crawled under the fence to go to the field and a strong plant cut me.
  

Coasterica

• Robert: Sarah, will you hand me that coaster for my drink?
• Sarah: Sure.
• Aiden (6): It's Coaster Rica. It's a country, dad.

Business Man

Playing cards gets competitive. Smack-talk ensues.

• Robert: That looks like cheating!
• Aiden: No it's not!
• Robert: Oh well, I'm gonna put you out of business.
• Aiden: You can't because I'm only in school. I don't even know how to do business.

Another Haircut

I know it's just a haircut - but it's just so dang cute and done by Auntie Jen.

Not So Goodwill

• Robert: Good job at school this week. Should we go get your prize right now?
• Aiden: (6) Yeah!
• Robert: Remember, you only have a dollar to spend.
• Aiden: (Sees a Goodwill store just ahead) I don't want to get it at Goodwill though.
• Robert: Why not?
• Aiden: Because they don't have any good stuff!
• Robert: They have lots of good stuff.
• Aiden: Yeah, but it's all broken and old.
• Robert: Well, you shouldn't assume; because that's not where we're going anyway.
• Aiden: I knew it!

Things According To Chloë

aiden = aidee
apple = appo
monkey = kunky
butterfly = buttbye
egg = eeye
rabbit = doge
frisky = feeky

Exactly

A few weeks ago Aiden (6) accepted Christ as his savior after recognizing how sin in this world, including his own, is a curse that only Jesus can free him from. Plus he wanted to be with everyone in Heaven too. (To all this I say: "Praise God.")

Anyway, we've been having some profound conversations lately and tonight the subject happened to be tattoos.

• Aiden: Dad, can I see your tattoos again?
• Robert: Sure. (Shows them)
• Aiden: When I get big I'm going to have tattoos.
• Robert: Well son; did you know that I wish I didn't have my tattoos?
• Aiden: Hm?
• Robert: Yeah. I wish I would have been more satisfied with the body God gave me. But I was young and selfish and didn't think about it.
• Aiden: So the only tattoos that are good are the paper kind that wash off...
• Robert: Well, the other kind are ok too, but I just wish I would have not gotten mine. God gave me my body to take care of. It's the only body I get and He gave it special just for me...so now I wish I didn't put marks all over it.
• Aiden: Because God gave you the body he wanted you to have.

Exactly, my sweet boy.

Grocery Store Offense

Went shopping at WinCo this morning for some essentials and was purchasing what looked like Asian pears - accept that the sign read "Apple Pears". I reasoned that they must be some new slightly modified knock-off species of Asian pears...

• Cashier: What are these? Asian pears?
• Robert: The sign read "Apple Pears".
• Cashier (looking through his produce book): Really?
• Robert: Really
• Cashier (calls produce manager over): Do we have any "Apple Pears"?
• Produce Manager: Those are "Asian Pears".
• Robert: Well, your sign reads "Apple Pears".
• Produce Manager: Yeah, because "Asian Pears" is too offensive.
• Cashier (who happens to be Asian): Oh yeah, I guess I'm offended now.
• Robert: Good one.
• Cashier: You'd be amazed what people get offended at.
• Robert: No I wouldn't.

Sheesh.

Library. All The Cool Kids Are Doing It.